Monday, 28th January, 2008 01:39:31am

Name or Alias: Big's Advocate
Training and/or processing level: internet only
Org or location: N/A
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: only reading all this
Recommended Website - http://

1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?

News about the controversy regarding Tom Cruise biography and reading the internet a few days on the subject.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?

Attended an $800 seminar worth $100 as follow up from purchase of Alpha-Stim microcurrent electrotherapy device, ($860) and couldn't help but notice and Encyclopedia Brittanica type collection of Scientology books on the shelf, and the owner appeared to have a lucrative practice as a veterinarian.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?

N/A Did an internship at a tax exempt 'no kill sanctuary' as a student. Could not forget these animals. Returned two years later with hope of caring for them.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?

N/A At this shelter/sanctuary, couldn't understand why such profound refusal to have microchip readers or any system in place to help people looking for lost animals find them, no names, no records. Couldn't understand why animals were only presented when dying, usually of maggots or end stage kidney, cancer...and even then, refusal to allow diagnostics essentially free since the hoarder owned the clinic, refusal to even buy insulin for a ketoacidotic diabetic, which costs about a dollar, refusal to take an x-ray, cost $2, to evaluate the situation. Refusal to adopt out animals, even to veterinarians! Big was a Rottweiler 'rescued' when found laying on his side after a farmer's pack attacked him. I was afraid of Big at first. He outweighed me. And, a mean Rottie can kill you. He was so tired and wounded. I figured, let him sleep, feed him well when he wakes up, use drugs to keep myself safe and him out of pain to take him to surgery to sew up his wounds. Big slept for two days. He ate well the next day. Instead of having a doctor provide appropriate anesthesia and surgically repair his wounds, he was, instead, wrassled down without the benefit of any sedation, much less anesthesia, and his wounds were 'treated' with Dawn detergent and Bleach! I was horrified that one would be subjected to such as that. I admit, I was afraid of Big at first. But, I sure wasn't going to be mean to him, I was going to use drugs. I was going to treat him properly. How my heart went out to him when I learned he had been subjected to, essentially, torture. As it turned out, Big was the most noble, gentle being I have ever known. Big had the most innocent eyes I have ever seen. During the week, all I had time for was to hand feed him a can of food each night. We spent hours together on the front porch on Saturdays and Sundays. He looked up at me with such loving, innocent eyes. One night, the hoarder came down to take the dogs out. I was in the room. Big was housebroke. I happened to be in the room taking care of another patient. Big didn't want to go outside, he just wanted to come over to me for a little mutual sugar instead of going outside to piss. The hoarder grabbed him by his sore ear and made him cry out in pain and threw him outside. I felt so sorry for this little guy who outweighed me. He was so innocent. That was one of the straws. I went outside and spent some time with Big. Big is the most noble being I have ever known. I love him and and not ashamed of that. I tried so hard to find someone to adopt him. It kills my soul to know he is subjected to the terrible cold in the winter, many nights below zero...-14 not counting the chill factor. A more trusting face and innocent eyes and gentle nature I have never witnessed.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?

N/A Regarding the hoarding situation I was in: Hopeful for improvement. Reluctant to abandon guys in need. Belief the owner was a Good Samaritan. Failed to recognize a hoarder until after I left. Love for the animals and knowledge of their health needs. Hoped to find a home for Big, Sammy Jo, Elvis, Rainbow....pretty lot of other names, Leroy, Buddy Blue, Gardenia, Baby Jesus, Baby Grey, Lawn Boy Girl, Cinnamon, Pepper, Red, River, so many innocents. Well, I'm about to bawl just remembering my friends hoarded on the Hill by a multimillionaire madman hoarder.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?

N/A I was staff. The only doctor available for 200 dogs, 100 cats, and a bunch of wildlife.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?

N/A There were several straws. In June, I brought a baby black bear confiscated by department of conservation to a real sanctuary. This real sanctuary was so different from the hoarding operation....public support, a game plan for getting donations to keep the place going, peaceful, local Safeway donated A LOT of meat weekly for the tigers in the sanctuary, lots of community support. Back home, no support, everybody 'had no compassion' per hoarder. When a televison news plea was put out for donations to 'save' the clinic in March, in April another 'rescue' vehicle was purchased. It was a third vehicle, a late model red Corvette, fully loaded, paid cash, of course no sales tax, as this was a tax exempt sanctuary. In May, volunteers at the sanctuary brought down a real sick cat. The 'Good Samaritan' owner declined bloodwork, IV fluids. Cat died. In June, an elderly dog with maggot infested pressure sores due to laying around lame was presented. No bloodwork, no xrays. At the time, I still did not recognize this was a hoarding operation...all about control, I provided hospice care. Fed her by hand daily. Sat with her on Saturdays and Sundays and at the end of each day. Another maggot dog, beaten up by others at this sanctuary was presented. Too fat to stand up. She spent a weekend trying to get away from her feces. All her struggling accomplished was to smear a three foot diameter circle of s**t on the floor, and cover the entire ventral aspect of her body with s**t. The elderly lame maggot pressure sore dog observed her all weekend. On a Sunday night, this elderly dog was barking a lot and she seldom barked. The doctor (me, I am ashamed to say) investigated the cause of her barking and discovered the s**t covered dog. The s**t dog was bathed but began to vomit blood the next day and euthanized. Although she seemed stable, the elderly dog who barked died of unknown causes sometime after 10 PM the day she lost interest in food. This elderly dog was nameless when she came down from the Hill, but she had one when she died.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?

It appears to me some of the principles of Scientology are helpful in becoming successful. After reading 238 stories here, and the Time Magazine article, and more on the web, it appears safest to stay away. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around how so many people could devote so many years and so much money involved w/ Cof$. It baffles me that Cof$ defeated the IRS. In no way do I mean disrespect for the people who have revealed their experiences here, but it is mind boggling to an outsider. I have come to the conclusion that there is a 'Cult' element in this organization. I wonder why ACLU is not addressing this situation, with so many describing essentially slavery, certainly abuse. It blows my mind that the IRS was defeated by Co$. And I mean blow in the dictionary sense. One of the most significant elements of the experiences described here is the bizarre Sci-speak everyone uses. The other elements which are very strange to an outsider are the vast number of years involved, the huge sums of money. At the end of the day, the only explanation I can come up with is 'Cult'. I mean no disrespect at all towards the people here who appear victimized. It appears to this outsider that needs and desires for self improvement, idealism for doing good in the world was the 'hook'....and once the hook was set, the idealist, or lost soul could not abandon their pursuit of something better. Like could not see the forest for the trees kind of thing.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?

N/A. Wouldn't even take Dianetics out at the library after reading about the suffering of you guys. If department of conservation would step up to the plate for the hoarded hundreds, I would go back in a heartbeat, on my dime.

N/A. If the hoarder was relieved of his control over his vics, I would gladly return to care for the animals hoarded by him, for no pay, although I would have to work somewhere in order to be able to pay the bills, but I could work two days a week for pay and cover my modest cost of living and GLADLY work 12 - 16 hours a day the other five. It would be a joy.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?

I would like to thank the people who have told their stories here. I. too, devoted much energy, and lost a bunch of cash, but more importantly suffered abuse simply due to idealism and misjudgment of humans. Reading your stories of decades of lost life, cult victims...well, my experience wasn't a cult, but I strongly believed for too long in my idealistic wrong assessment of an animal hoarder I believed was essentially a Good Samaritan. I, too, have suffered death threat, false police reports, even falsely arrested, slandered, lost a bunch of money,legal bills, grieved over what I have witnessed, struggled to bring it to the attention of authorities, to no avail. I live in fear. I can't say I was a cult vic, but I surely was victimized by my idealism, it drove me and blinded me...and still I have not abondoned it. Today, thanks to your words and what I have read on the internet (having a crook invent a religion and beat the IRS is pretty strong...not to mention many people and decades of life and all the suffering), helped me realize that it is likely hopeless for my friends on the Hill. Likely hopeless, but I still have some...thanks to faith, hope, love and gratitude. Faith in God. Hope He will work a miracle. Love for my friends on the Hill. Gratitude that I got to share a bit of life with them....and gratitude that what you have witnessed has helped me wrap my mind around hopelessness and let go of my idealism....but I still have Faith, Hope and Love.

Thank you for reading this,

The one who got to be loved by Big

aka Dr. K