Scientology - Through the Door


Sunday, 25th July, 2004 02:06:11am

Name or Alias: E
Training and/or processing level: 120 plus pc folders
Org or location: FSO on upwards
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: Mega years
Recommended Website - http://
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I was told to stay away from Scn, which was one of about 12 other new age practises I was told to stay away from.
I phoned the org, to see if they were open. Then were about number 7 of my list of about 12 practises to check into.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
L 10 or L 11 or L 12 promised exteriorization with full perception. That to me is the ultimate.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
No. I was a college student and open minded. I didn't think I had personal problems Scn would resolve. I just assumed the state of nirvana, and out-of-the-body, astral walking, existed, because so many other practises said they could attain the same state.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
Are you kidding? The f-ups of staff in the SO are legion. They have had so many unqualified staff, unhatted, slightly mentally off-balance people, doing so many wierd things over the years, but that is just that Scn is so desperate, and LRH thought all men's problems (exceptions are pysche destroyed people) could be handled in staff. This question is way too general. I can't answer such a general question. I have years of stores to tell.
How about categorizing things. I'm a mega year SO vet. I could write several books on my experiences.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
The glowing, nirvanna, hope of full exteriorization. Also once you are in it, meaning in my case the SO, you are on a 24/7 lifestyle, with kids your same age, sort of like a combination of high school, college, monestary, military like, all rolled into one. But more lenient than real strict military or monastic life. You can have sex with your spouse. Everyone is almost doing the same thing, in very close quarters in the SO. Once you are married, and adjusted to the lifestyle, it just rolls, year and year. Same kind of ups and downs, and mad incompetence on all sides, people getting busted, promoted, going up, going down. It's like a big family, high school clique after a while. If you have accepted the initial confinement of the SO, and can accept living like that, then it's just a life. Not middle class America, but a life.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
Staff, mega years. FSO on up, way up, Int level orgs.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
Wanted a normal life again. Wanted to have evenings off. Wanted to read. I finally realized I'd be 24/7 the rest of my life in the SO. The goals were NOT being achieved. This planet is NOT being 'cleared', the OTs I've seen are just normal people, so steller 'big beings' being created. It is all NOT what was promised. It is a violation of the 'senior policy' policy letter by LRH. I wanted out, back to a normal life, where I could enjoy life. Where I could go out by myself, travel around, see nature, take weekends (two days!!) off each week. Being in the SO the last 9 years, I had NO days off. Only a few hours off each Sunday morning. I was TIRED of having dumber people than myself tell me what was good for me, when I did NOT agree that what they said was good for me, was NOT good for me. I disagreed with more LRH policies than I let myself believe. I began to think LRH was NOT such a great person after all. He was using us, I felt, to forward his grand goals. Fine goals, but the world is NOT buying the Scn religion. The world truly does NOT really want Scn, and the joke is that the events of recent years tries to counter this truth by just saying the 'world is dying for Scn's asnwers.' This is not true, no wog newspaper has ever published a story of any wog group reaching strongly for Scn. I also on the RPF in my final years, heard that each year for the New Years Event, it was a problem scraping up the good news to fill Miscavage's speeches. I hated how the top was usurped by Miscavage. I stopped agreeing with what Hubbard wrote. In the end his good words did not outweigh the major objections I found in many of his key policies. Miscavage has a revengeful cruel streak, and made enemies of people that a saner leader would not have done. LRH went nuts in the final years, and the relayers of info to him omitted enough info to skew LRH's advices to handle the mess, which it is doubtful LRH could have handled anyways. The SO has built in destructive, degrading rules, that cause internal hatred amongst staff. I could not agree with SO policies that brutally demean SO members. The atmosphere at Int is colored by Miscavage's savage streak (spitting on staff, punching, pushing, threatening, his behaviour is far beyond what he could tolerate himself, he's a walking violation of key precepts of Hubbard's Way to Happiness in his viciousness to fellow staffers which he justifies continually with a selective reading of Hubbard's most vengeful and degrading policies and tapes -- the screaming Class 8 tape in particular, etc., etc.). It is a flawed group due to the policy defects Hubbard laid out for the SO. Final straw was being at an Int Base breifing, which are done every Friday night, if Miscavage is at the Int Base. He usually validates and/or berates the units and individuals who did well the previous week or did disastrously. I saw the group fear, despite all the life spirit in these 600-700 top SO members, working at the Int base (with the CST and ASI crew attending each week also), all the top SO members. Miscavage clearly the top dog. The mindset, with Miscavage in control, the total lack of real compassion for the lives especially for Gold staff. They are the lowest on the Int base totem pole, and catch the most shit, although any unit fu-cking up catches sh-t at the Int Base Friday night briefing, if serious enough. I hated the Int base justice mentality. The Comm Evs I read issued by Gold staff are vindictive, and violations of the most important justice principle about despite a person's guilt, their overall worth is taken into consideration when judging their innocence or guilt. If the wind is blowing against a person during their comm ev, in otherwords if RTC or CMO have written the person under Comm Ev off, then the committee toasts the guy. In otherwords opinion, instead of justice and worth, is senior at Int. The Int Base persons since they are isolated from society way out at Gillman Hot Springs, are out of touch, and lack compassion for the rest of humanity. For instance the Buddhists have to spend something like 4-6 months of the year living amongst the common people, teaching them, and living off the food given them by the people they teach. The top SO units all stay behind fences and trees in a secluded base outside Hemet, California, way off the beaten path. The top top guys envision themselves as 'flap' experts. All the 'flaps' of Scn are internally created by ignorance of life, incompetence, unhattedness, sometimes due to a personal defect in a staff member, but more often than not it is simply lack of good life experience on their jobs and in life. The Int Base is a visual showcase, but the actual impact on human lives is just not happening. I saw no great acceptance of Scn in my decades plus stay on SO staff. I saw none of the great goals being achieved, and I dread the US being run by SO or Scn rules. I concluded the rules in the wog world are truly better than the SO and LRH plicy rules. The SO justice system is not reliable. LRH natters like no other leader in the world today. He had NO colleagues in the wog world who praised him. He only has people read the PR blurbs the church has written up about him, and wogs are able to spit that data back. If Scn staff and SO staff were as effective as they should be, and if scn tech actually did make WIDESPREAD changes, then I couldn't say what I've said. But there are not WIDESPREAD changes being produced enough that anyone in the wog world ON THEIR OWN are jumping up and praising Scn without the SO putting the words on teleprompters for the officials to mouth, so Gold cameramen capture the church's written PR blurbs on tape, being spoken by wog officials who were fed what to say. The Freedom Medal Winners each year are somewhat exceptions. If there were hundreds of them, and then people on their own, without any prompting rolled with Scn, those are the only ways I'd be wrong. America is not rolling with Scn, and the western european countries are NOT rolling with Scn, unprompted. The final straw was I was concluding that atheism is probably the direction I am going now. I hated the fake PR.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
I will write extensively, probably a book, on this. I want to go right through the most important policies I think are wrong.
I've been a trained church compiler, and wish to do justice to my extensive feelings of which policies need to be retired.
I must have filled this quesitonaire out before. I seem to have answered this before.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
No. Atheist.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
I would have liked to have a multi-part question asking forum, as I have so much to say. I am a decades plus ex-SO member.

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