Scientology - Through the Door

Interviews

Tuesday, 18th March, 2003 07:03:58am

Name or Alias: 'Jane Scared'
Training and/or processing level: LOC, FPRDs, Purif etc.
Org or location: PAC
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 12 years
Recommended Website - operationclambake
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
business management and world of mouth through that company. I started on the self analysis course.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
Being a part of a group who 'cared' and the association to celebs and the glamor of the events. I thought this group could help me overcome some childhood abusive pain and memories that I was living with.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
Childhood abuse and feeling lost

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
I was in the Sea Org for 7 years. The ways that we were treated, the 2 abortions that I was heavily preasured to have, the disconnection from family members because I was PTS to them due to their negative feelings about Scn. Someone the things that I saw every day and the things that my fellow SO member went through. I had justified it as being for the greatest good for a long time. What finally got me to leave was the need for my family and being a part of them and starting a family of my own. The two abortions haunted me and I was made to feel horrible that it 'still haunted me'.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
I am a closet Scn critic - I finally left the Sea Org but havent openly denied it due to friends that are still connected. They to I feel are closet Scn/Sea Org critic. What keeps them is their friends or jobs at companies who are managed with Scientology Management technology.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
I was Sea Org - I had attempted to leave several times but the harsh treatment and interogation caused me to give in and stay several more years until I finally pushed through and got out on a very EXTENSIVE Routing Out procedure.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
The final straw was that I noticed that my family was almost non-existant to me and vise versa. I wanted to have a family and children. I wasn't leaving because of anything else - everything else I had well justified in my head and wouldnt confront the truth for fear that I would see how wrong I was and how much time I had wasted. It wasnt until years later that I finally started to unravel and realize the truth of it all.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
For the longest time I thought, 'The Sea Org management is corrupt' and that if it changed - it would be so much better. However it took me years to see that the admin tech was in fact suppressive and created a currupt organization. The tech was currupt and the crimes and emotional torture was justified by many policied. L Ron Hubbard was crazy, paranoid and most other labels and so the organization became that way. They have there own justice system........which is very unjust. If your family does not agree sith scn, you are made to handle or disconnect - well you cannot make someone agree with something they feel is bad - so.......say goodbye to that family member or face being declared yourself. I saw children declared for bad behavior ----- do you think it had anything to do with the fact that they saw very little of their parents, that there was no parental quidence and they felt lonely and unloved!!! Well, they were declared and made to move away to other family members. You can't tell me that is not suppressive. Making women who created a life inside them with a 'loving' husband and within a marriage union - and force them to abort the unborn child and have that 'loving husband' force that on them because it isn't good for the org or the greatest good. Tell me thats not suppressive.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
Absolutely not. It may look glamorous and popular. It may seem okay and you may have many wins - but those wins are within you! You start to really see everything clearly when you go into the Sea Org or when you are public and forced to give up everything financially - so that you can 'improve your life'.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
Please see my posts on Operation Clam Bake starting at the beginning of March. It is in the archives of 'Stories inside the Sea Org'. Good luck to you - I hope I can open your eyes. Just know _ I didn't leave on a bad note. I did get through my sec checks with flying colors. It took many months as I was very open and truthfull and that made me look guilty as hell. But I wasn't and it's over and Im finally free!

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