Scientology - Through the Door

Interviews

Monday, 20th January, 2003 02:30:37pm

Name or Alias: Michael Argue
Training and/or processing level: Class 4,Ned, OT 7
Org or location: Toronto
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 1971-1983
Recommended Website - N/A
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I had just broken up with a girlfriend and was quite upset over the mystery as to why we had parted company. A friend suggested I read Dianetics,which I did. I then went down and did the personality test and signed up for the Communication Course. I joined staff shortly thereafter...

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
They said I was nervous,dispersed and upset-according to my personality test results. I agreed. They said Scientology could help me. I fell for it.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
Yes, I thought it would help me understand and deal with people better. Especially the effects of betrayal on myself.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
Yes, people going to the bank and getting huge sums of money, especially when the senior financial policy of Scientology seemed to be:Never spend more than what you make.(ha,ha,ha) Also the first pay I received on staff was approximately 5-6$.This was for an 80 hour work week. I was told about proportionate pay as the reason and assumed I would make more as I got trained. I also was quite idealistic as I thought 'we were helping the world' so...I decided I could put up with some deprivation for so worthy a goal. (ha,ha,ha) Also the staff not getting audited as it was suggested. I also turned a blind eye to this-all because 'we were working for a worthy purpose. A BIG GAME-CLEAR THE PLANET.YEAH, WE'RE REALLY GONNA' DO IT!!! (HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,)

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
During my first session I seemed to have a bi-location experience of being somewhere else the same time I was talking to my auditor. It was very real to me and quite encouraging. I looked at the Bridge to Total Freedom Grade Chart after the session and decided that I wanted the ablitities of OT 6.No matter what happened, this was my goal.I had never had a goal that was so emotionally charged.I envisioned being able to 'fly wherever I wanted to' .My mind really believed this !Now that I think of it I was probably betrayed by my imagination,if such a thing is possible.Sometimes I just don't understand how my mind works or even if that is possible.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
Both,staff at Celebrity Centre,Toronto and The Church of Scientology,Toronto.I also was public for a while.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
The prices were insane. My last service was NOTS for which I went to 4 different banks to get the sum of 15,000$ for services at FLAG. Also there was too much control I seemed. Too many orders,set ways, inflexibility etc...

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
YES,YES,YES!!! The lying to staff and public about Clears and OTs. Also the dependancy that auditing creates within oneself. Besides this,the heavy handed tactics,threats and coercion and intimidation (like losing your bridge to total freedom). I was under so much duress on the upper bridge. I couldn't relate to a lot of the material like BTs and Clusters etc.The betrayal was the biggest thing tho';my trust factor of others and groups is practically nil now.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
NO I would not. I am too delusional as a result of all the auditing I have had. I live in a dream world,don't want to work etc.I live on a disability pension for depression as a result of my experience. I couldn't believe that all those books I had sold,all those people I had gotten in, the career in music I had given up, all those hours of study,handing out flyers.leaving my friends, deserting my family, continually holding on to the illusion of becoming and OT and that things would be ok in my life when I attained OT were all for nothing.Still can't believe it. I have been in a cloud since and have not come out of it.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
I know I am sick as a result of my stay in Scientology.If I had known that my mind could be damaged by this I would have gotten out sooner.I still am addicted to mental highs.I use sound and light machines trying to get back some of the states I experienced in auditing.I don't know how to cure myself and come back to Earth,so to speak. I have read so much since,still I can't seem to connect with anything anymore. I have considered suicide many times.My mind just seems to have become locked into some story I fell for of becoming a powerful human being (OT) that has total charge of my life.It is really weird.I feel like I have been TAKEN OVER.

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Total Entries: 326
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