Scientology - Through the Door


Tuesday, 25th March, 2014 06:26:15pm

Name or Alias: Altruistic
Training and/or processing level: None
Org or location: CLO EUS (Continental Lesion Offices, Eastern United States)
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 1985-1993
Recommended Website - n/a
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I was born in to Scientology both my parents were on staff in Clearwater FL when my mother found out she was pregnant with me.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
Not applicable, I was raised as Scientologist and lived in the CLO EUS building with my parents from the time I was born until I was 8 years old

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
N/A (See Previous answer)

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
While I was a child during my time in the Sea Org. looking back on my childhood now I see many things which didn't seem right. Aside from the poor living conditions I was severely neglected during my time in the Sea Org. both my parents worked fulling duties of their posts and I was left in the care of nanny along with the other children. I remember being left alone, on my own a lot and when I confronted my mother about these memories she said there were many times they didn't have a nanny on staff and the older children were suppose to take of us. I don't remember the older children caring for me but I do remember a couple of them abusing me and some of the other younger children, including borderline sexually abuse. I was 5 or 6 years old when I was molested be the 13-15 year olds.

I also remember a time when my mother was simple gone, in my mind it feels like she might have well been gone for an eternity. When I asked my mother about the time she was gone she said I was no older then 4 and she was sent to LA to work on the RPF because her stats weren't up; I was 4 years old and my mother was gone for a little over a year before she was finally able to return. While my mom was on post in LA I stayed in New York at CLO EUS with my dad, it's the only time in my life I remember being close with him.

When my parents first came to CLO EUS the building was being renovated and my baby pictures show the chaos we all lived in and where my crib was kept. Later after the renovations were complete and I was a little older the children were assigned two rooms, one for the boys and one for the girls. The small room I shared with 3 other girls not related to me including, the teenager who molested me, consisted of two bunk beds a dresser and small closet. I attended public school during this time and it was difficult to fit in with any of my classmates. I also had lice and tended to wear the same clothes to school every day, I rarely bathed or brushed my teeth and the children would consistently tease me about how I smelled. When my mother became pregnant again my parents "decided" to transfer to a Class V org and retain a Sea Org post with the Org in ... and we moved there shortly after my brother was born. Some years after my family left I heard this was the case for most Sea Org members with children (on the east coast),I know CLO WUS in LA sent most of their children to live on a ranch which was closed down in 1999.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
I still consider myself a Scientologist though many Scientologists themselves would say other wise. I am not currently on course or working my way up the bridge but I still hold on the the basic beliefs I was raised with in CLO EUS. I chose to stay with the Church of Scientology and I claim it as my faith because I see how the teachings I was given as child have benefited me in my life. I don't blame the Church of Scientology for my childhood neglect or being molested, I feel it was my parents responsibility to care for me and ultimately it was their decisions and choices in life which are responsible for my childhood. I have been blessed with two wonderful caring parents and we have been able to communicate openly about the wrong doings of how I was raised. Those early years of my life have shattered any chance of my parents being able to look at me with out guilt and shame on their faces. We all have long since forgiven our grievances with the Church of Scientology because untimely it is not Scientology that caused our pain it was people and the decisions they made. The teenagers deciding to abuse me, the parents choosing their work first and their family second, the admin staff allowing their beliefs to blind them from simple humanities.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
I was neither and I was both. From a child being raised at CLO EUS to a teenager taking courses as pubic in a Class 5 Org to joining the Sea Org myself when I was 14 years old at CLO WUS in LA and eventually leaving to become a free loader.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
I choose to hold Scientology as my faith, not as a technology. I will use my faith to better my life, I don't need courses and auditing to validate my foothold as a Scientologists. There was a final straw, I was 14 when I joined the EPF, my mother I tried to get the grievances in New York handled through the proper ethics channels and nothing ever came of it. Then one day after being on the EPF for several months I called my mom and admitted to having thoughts of suicide and wanting so much to just come home. That was it for my parents my mom picked me up the next day and a few months later both my parents were able to route out, free loader debt in hand of course.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
Yes, both my parents served as Sea Org members for over 20 years and now they aren't even allowed to step foot in a course room until they pay off some astronomical amount of money for services rendered. Why isn't all their time and work and their sacrifice enough? In my mind the blood sweat and tears they gave to the Sea Org is exchange enough. I also feel like there needs to be a process for handling the children, we are the collateral damage of the early days of the Sea Org. As it stands there is no process at all to acknowledge what went wrong. It's all quite conveniently swept under the rug to be forgotten. It is said, be at cause over your life, don't live in the reactive mind, this is all well and good but there needs to be a tangible debriefing of sorts to acknowledge the lives of children who have become the collateral damage.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
No, I wouldn't rejoin. I could never trust people wouldn't make the same mistakes. We are only human after all and one persons faith can move mountains; I have heard that things are different now, the Sea Org is better, back to where it's suppose to be. But it is all to easy to become blind to the simple humanities when people are so passionate about their beliefs, all else is sacrificed.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
I noticed after my first submission that I wrote WUS which should read EUS

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