Scientology - Through the Door

Interviews

Sunday, 17th November, 2013 06:59:06am

Name or Alias: Angus MacDuffie
Training and/or processing level: Level 0/Grade 0
Org or location: Boston, MA and Portland, OR
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 25 years
Recommended Website - Why We Protest, The Underground Bunker, Ex Scn, Arnie Lerma's site, Andreas Heldal's site
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
My first contact was a young, female book-seller. One moment she caught my eye and the next she was in front of me. It was kind of eery. I managed to resist her demands to buy a Dianetics book (it's easier when you don't have any money in your pocket). I left with the impression that there was some deep, dark power best left alone. I so wish I held onto that idea!

Several months later, I read Science of Survival (roommate was taking some course) which got me in the door and onto the personality test. When Frank C showed me how "waiting" was at -10 on the "tone scale" I signed up. It took another 25 years for me to walk back out.


2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
The combination of enlightenment and "space opera" was irresistable to me.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
I was really looking for answers at that point in my life. The staff I interacted with seemed so sure of themselves. It just felt right.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
My ability to think critically was not very good to begin with and the church short-circuits the ability to do so. When I accepted that they had all the answers, that was pretty much it. When bad stuff happened to others, I was thankful it wasn't me. When it happened to me I could only "work my way through it".

Just one example, though, of the sorts of things that really aren't right was the declare of George F as an SP. George had a business that employed many of the staff during their off hours. They were able to earn enough supplemental income to get by (something that was virtually impossible on the church pay alone). Most of these staff were able to get in the regular study they were supposed to. This should have been considered an asset by management but somebody decided it was the "why" for inadequate expansion or some such so he had to be the sacrificial "head on a pike".


5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
The "big hook" of Scilontology has three barbs:

First, the promise that you will "become more able", "find the cause of problems and make them vanish". That is, that the tech will set you free. Second is the dedication to "save the planet" by using the tech on everybody else. Third is the threat that if you don't do as they say, your opportunity for those wondrous abilities will be removed. Plus bad things will happen to you.

That hook kept me right where they wanted me for a very long time.



6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
I was primarily staff in Boston and primarily public in Portland.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
Sherman set the wayback machine to 1996. I was very busy with my business and asked my wife to help. She was unwilling to do that again. This moved my marriage further onto the rocks. Subsequent attempts to deal with this brought revelations that "she had been a concubine in her past life and couldn't help being attracted to other men". Since I had already let my kids go into the SO (I so, so regret that!) we got divorced.

There happened to be a shortage of available scilon women at that time so I expanded my search. One of the women I dated did some research and brought me the results. Since I was an "experienced ethics terminal" I assumed I would be able to deal with anything that came along and correct all that false information. However, as I read about other people's experiences and research, I didn't see a lot of false. I found out that the great Ron was a great con and abuser in his own right. I had heard the stories of the command team and saw the harsh and demeaning management style of those they had left in charge. It was easy to connect the dots and see the pattern of abuse could only start at the top. After all, policy stated to "do as Ron would do", something 'ittle Davey does to this day.

The "final straw", though was when I did just what you're supposed to do with these sorts of things. I had read a fairly scientific article by a geology fellow about the OTIII volcanoes. I don't remember who the author was but he gets the credit for getting me out of there! His research showed that there was no sign of volcanic activity where all those volcanoes supposedly were. When I asked OSA for an answer to that, I was taken aside by an OT and warned that I was in grave danger. Of course, he refused to give me any actual information to resolve the question. I also met with my all-time favorite OSA person (Gwen "here have some gum" Mayfield) who pulled out all the popular "dead-agent packs". No answers there, of course.

They determined that I had fallen in with a bad crowd of ex-scns and had me declared and disconnected from in less than a month.


8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
The Church of Scilontology will not be changing its practices. That is not it's way and I won't be going back.

Involvement in this cult results in a tangled mess of ingrained behaviors and beliefs. Of course, this includes disconnection. Yes they deny it. Yes it absolutely exists. I lost friends and professional contacts because of this policy and it's unlikely I'll talk to my children ever again. Consider "production is the basis of morale". This little jewel gets you into constant motion. As long as you're moving stuff around you're going to feel better, right? Don't stop to research or plan, we need it NOW - always. How about doing "the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics"? We have to modify that into doing whatever is the best for the church (because the church will "save" everybody) and TONIGHT that means you'll be sorting bulk mail until tomorrow at 2pm. I believed for 30+ years that communication is the "universal solvent" (that would be WATER!).

I expect I'll sit down and take the time to compile a full list of all these items, but the bottom line is this: Scientology invites you into her den and convinces you to turn your mind and body over to her not-so-gentle ministrations. "You don't need to think for yourself, we'll tell you everything you need to know". "This life really isn't that important, anyway, (because you have so many of them) so why don't you just give it to us. All your money as well!"

After 25 years, the mess is so ravelled, that you don't know where to start, how to tell if you're making progress, plus you've lost the ability to trust anyone else to help you.


9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
No, I can't take any more of what they're selling.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
I regret most the time wasted/lost. Twenty-five years following the ideas of a science fiction writer/drug addict/con man. Twenty-five years during which I failed to direct my own life, career, and family progress. Twenty-five years that I can't get back to learn and develop as I should have. I'll be lucky if I catch up before this one life (immortal spirit? - docs or gtfo!) I've been given. Ex-scientologists are damaged goods. Buyer beware!

Entry: 318
Total Entries: 326
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