Scientology - Through the Door

Interviews

Thursday, 26th July, 2012 02:36:18pm

Name or Alias: Extaff Fenix
Training and/or processing level: Stalled somewhere before Clear
Org or location: Southeast US and LA
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 1992-1999
Recommended Website - n/a
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I went to work for some old friends who had started using the tech in their business. First thing I saw was a chart that laid out the Ethics Conditions handlings (like a desktop blotter) and thought it was the miost intelligent thing I'd ever seen. They were friends with a FSM who got me to a mission where I did the personality test, and there I went - courses, then Life Repair and on up the Grades.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
It seemed intelligent and sane. It seemed to sort out my thinking about life and bring me clarity and certainty.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
I was living life kinda by default. It looked like I could harness the energy and power I knew I had through this material.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
Oh yes. I saw religions and "other practices" discouraged and not just because one was on course or in auditing. I saw registrars saying horrible mean things about clients behind their backs and with no commitment to help (in the gossip conversation) the person. Stat pushes with useless work. Working for almost no money. I was so in shock that people would do mean things, and so transfixed by the new power I was finding in myself, I tuned out what didn't seem to fit.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
I really thought I was making a difference. I liked the way I fit in. I was getting saner and stronger, to a point.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
I was mission staff. I completed my contract standardly.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
I had married someone whom the upper orgs saw as "trouble" but who had deep pockets. I was getting shuffled around at Flag and when I ended up in HCO/EO, Lisa Mc Pherson had recently died and someone wrote something in my auditing notes that someone else took to mean I'd tried to commit suicide. For 2 1/2 years, I fought to be heard that this was NOT true, and sec checked at my own expense. When I finally DID get heard and acknowledged for the HELL I had gone through trying to get people to hear me, there was not even a freaking apology for my having spent 2 1/2 years of upset and thousands of dollars defending myself against THEIR mistakes, and the assholes would not even make it right with me. When I am wrong I say I'm wrong. And if I caused damage I make it up. Those asshats as far as I am concerned are assigned LIABILITY and never got out of it in my book. I should have been made whole for the damage their screwups caused me. I SERVED the "Church". And totally messed up service at the most crucial point of my Bridge was how I was exchanged with.

On top of that, because "they" didn;t like my husband because he was a tax protester, they were always pitting me against him and treating me like an ass when his tax stuff had nothing to do with me.


8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
Are you kidding? 1. Disband the freaking RPF and let SO staff live decently like human beings with dignity and not like degraded beings on penance from some other science fiction place. 2. The tech has been so screwed over by DM and people who misunderstood and re-wrote LRH's original intent - people have been mentally screwed up as a result of going into bad sessions, and can't be fixed and that should not be. I know people have their own broken parts inside. But some of the tec screwups caused people hwho had been OK to have psychotic breaks, kill themselves, and worse. 3. OT people should stop acting like life is all about themselves and actually get out there improving life around them in ways that make a difference and stop merely fixing themselves up and attending the Temple of the "I".

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
No. Those are only the tip of the iceberg of what it would take to change management and staff thinking from the top down and make people's wellbeing first while still turning an honest dollar. They can't even get enough balls together to get rid of an abusive, violent asshat who manipulates and destroys people psychologically and is a pugilist. I don't give a **** about the Tone Scale and what DM thinks it gives him the right to do to people. He's a psychopath, and his cronies are enablers. ANd until that regime is brough down, no way is integrity EVER going in.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
I acknowledge the growth and gains I got, even IF the tech is something that was made up as they went, and not a result of real linear or even creibly quantum thinking. But the freaking insanity that went on, in what should have been a haven of, and commitment to, sanity and service - that should not be. There are a LOT of good people involved in $cn who either don't have a CLUE what goes on at the top and in the belly of the thing - or are so in shock and denial they blot out what they see. They think there are no other options. Well, I am living proof that there are.

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