Scientology - Through the Door


Thursday, 5th April, 2012 03:44:08pm

Training and/or processing level: FLAG-TRAINED CLASS IV (GAT)/KTL-LOC/CLEAR
Org or location: SEATTLE ORG, CC INT, ASHO
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 1992-2012
Recommended Website - Big List That Left Scientology
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I first became acquainted with the Church in Seattle by way of a personality test. I filled it out because I was interested in such things at that time in my life, being a college student who was searching for meaning in life. I mailed it in expecting to be mailed back the results, but instead I received a call from a representative from the “Hubbard Dianetics Foundation” to set an appointment to come get the results in person.

I was a little creeped out by this, so afterwards I asked my roommate what Dianetics was. The only thing I knew about it was the volcano commercials on late-night television. He told me it was “cult” expecting this to deter me from going. However, being a rather open-minded person who didn’t really know what a cult was, his admonition actually made me more interested. I thought “what the heck, why don’t I go find out what a cult is all about!”

The rest is history….

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
I actually had no idea what Scientology was at first. The first thing I did when I visited the org was to buy a Dianetics book. [It was the easiest way to get back out the door without paying the $95 that they wanted for me to do a Comm Course.] And after reading about two-thirds of it, I was sold. This was definitely what I had been looking for. I mean who doesn’t want to improve their mental facilities and become the super-human that Ron describes as “Clear”? Plus, he made it sound so simple. I definitely wanted to find out more about how I could do that.

However, when I went back to the org, the whole pitch changed. It was explained to me how Dianetics is actually part of the Church of Scientology, and that it is just the beginning of this thing called The Bridge. I was a little confused, but as long as it involved going Clear, I was interested.

My main question up front was what any of this has to do with religion. [Because, I was very atheist at the time, and hadn’t had positive experiences with organized religion.] I was promptly shown the video “Introduction to Scientology” in which Ron sufficiently answered that question for me.

At this point I was reg’ed for my first service which was to be the Success Through Communication Course. However, being a poor college student at the time, I didn’t really have enough pocket change to pay for it. So, instead I was told how I could join staff and get it for free. I was told that I could work part-time, that I would get paid, and that I could do courses for free. I thought, “What a deal!”

So, that’s how I pretty much walked right off the street and became a church staff member. That’s probably where my story differs from a lot of other Scientologists. Because, I saw first-hand what occurs within the Church on a daily basis before I could even call myself a “Scientologist” yet I still stuck around. It just goes to show you how powerful of a pull the promise of personal salvation has on someone. I kept telling myself “This sucks, but I’m willing to endure it if I could only go Clear some day.”

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
The main thing I was interested in at the time being only 19, and a bit shy, was the ability to pick up women. Lol! Which is why the comm course appealed to me so much.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
I’ve experienced first-hand just about everything that has already been detailed by others, from being “crush-reg’ed” to max out credit cards, to squirrel Sec Checking used for coercion and duress, to being punished simply for reporting out-Tech, to sub-poverty living standards as a staff member, to out-right lies to raise more funds for the IAS, etc.

Over the years I began to notice more and more out-tech, off-policy and out-ethics in the Church. Many of these things are quite embracive and could result in the destruction of the Scientology all by themselves. I thought, “I must be missing something. It can’t really be this bad…” I attempted to do something about them, such as report them up to RTC or the like. However, in every case I was either told that I’m wrong, given a verbal interpretation of some policy taken out of context, or threatened with Justice actions if I did not stop “creating problems.”

The more trained I became in Tech and Policy however, the more my list of unhandled out-points grew. I have always suspected that there was something that just “didn’t make sense” at the core of the Church, but I have always ignored that instinct in exchange for being able to go on course or get auditing.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
The problem I think that every Scientologists has with the current situation is that there seems to be no alternative. The consideration is that this Church is the only one we have, and if one isn’t a part of it then there is no possibility for personal salvation. In other words, leaving the Church or being excommunicated is tantamount to being damned for eternity. Therefore, we all endure the current scene and shrink whenever threatened by having the Bridge taken away from us.

However, the truth I have realized is that the Bridge has already been taken away. Because, the Bridge is not just the Tech (which has been corrupted,) but the Auditors that have been organized to deliver it, which are being suppressed and diminished like myself. Therefore, in reality it is a mute point. We are all damned even if we do remain in the Church.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
As mentioned above, I was on staff at Seattle org since the early nineties.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
I have gone along with the “status quo” of out-Tech and draconian conditions for years hoping that I could make a difference, or that things would somehow magically change. I have for the most part kept my mouth shut (so as not to be accused of “rumor mongering”) and attempted to use the proper channels to affect change. But it became more and more obvious that the problem was systemic, and the solution was completely out of my hands as long as I remained a part of the group, because no matter how good my intentions, as long as I was “in”, I would be subject to the group agreements, I would be the effect of the out-tech as a case, and as a technical terminal, I would be forced to commit out-tech as it is currently dictated by the Church. Ultimately, I would have ended up getting declared anyways for following orders to commit out-tech.

The final straw for me however was when I asked to leave staff. I wanted to quietly slip away without causing too much trouble, and hopefully rebuild my life while remaining in good standing with the Church. However, as many have experienced, that is not possible with the current establishment. I was subjected to endless Sec Checking in order to “handle” me to stay. I was threatened with an exorbitant “freeloader” debt without consideration for my contribution. And then my fiancé (who is also on staff) was forced to disconnect from me until I got “back in good standing with the Church.”

It was at that point that I realized that I could no longer be a part of such a group. I could no longer fight for a group that stood for such slavery. For, “freedom” is the one thing that I still believe true Scientology is based on, and if you take that away it is nothing.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
There are a lot of specific things that I feel could be changed. Paramount to me is the blatant out-tech. Without that, there really is no point as far as I’m concerned. Organizationally, I think such things as the focus on income over delivery, the focus on image over results, and the overall “care factor” towards individuals, would need to be changed.

However, it is obvious that the current scene is being perpetrated from the top of the org board, which is COB. Because, there is no one left for the “buck” to stop at. He is the self-proclaimed “Pope.” So, I think that the responsibility ultimately lies on him. Therefore, the first thing that would need to be changed is the leadership. It MUST be assumed by someone more qualified in terms of experience, case and training. Furthermore, the overall command structure needs to be re-established.

Then I think there would need to be a completely honest and open cleanse of the written tech and policy back to the original LRH bulletins, policy letters, directives and advices. There can no longer be hidden data lines for any reason, especially politics!

And finally, I think that the major statistics such as Clears and auditors made, should be publicized, as well as the accounting of donations for things as the IAS. There can no longer be such “curtains dropped” between the public and the management of the Church.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
Yes. I have experienced for myself as both a preclear and as an auditor, the truth of LRH tech. There is no doubt in my mind as to the miracles that Standard tech can achieve when applied in the Standard way.

It saddens me that those who were responsible for maintaining the Bridge to Freedom have allowed it to deteriorate to such a degree. However, I am still dedicated to keeping the dream alive. It is ultimately because of this that I defy. I still hold hope that though I feel I can no longer affect change as a member of the Church, maybe by withdrawing my support I can at least make some small difference in that direction.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
To any who happen to read this and don’t know what to do, or who feel powerless to make a difference, I say “open your eyes!” I know you see the rot and the Church dying right before your eyes. So, stop just sitting there and doing nothing! Stop listening to the lies and saying nothing! Because, I would like to indicate that the withhold that is being missed is not about any overt of commission. IT’S A WITHHOLD THAT IS NOT BEING ACCEPTED. The overt is that you are allowing the only hope for mankind to be suppressed into non-existence. That’s the cruel joked that has been run on us. We are told to stop “nattering”, and then subjected to accusative interrogations to find out what our withholds are. We are told to keep our mouths shut and “take responsibility.” Well, I say do just that! Responsibility does not involve being meek or doing nothing. It does not involve shrinking under threats and duress. COB is not beyond reproach. There comes a point where he too must take responsibility for his crimes.

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