Scientology - Through the Door

Interviews

Saturday, 15th January, 2011 08:11:44am

Name or Alias: Tiger Lily
Training and/or processing level: TR's and Objectives
Org or location: n/a
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: off and on from 1989 until the basics release in 2007
Recommended Website - Ex Scientologist Message Board (ESMB)
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I picked up Dianetics at a univerity bookstore -- it was on a large fancy display and I'd heard of it so I figured it must be worth reading.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
At first I wasn't interested in Scientology -- I was sold on Dianetics, but I guess what appealed to me most at the beginning was the idea that we were spiritual beings that didn't die and that Scientology "granted beingness" to all religions. (Of course I found out later that was a "PR" line and a huge lie).

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
My sister was having some huge problems and I thought Dianetics could help her, and some of my friends, and I had some insecurities and self-doubt that I thought could be "handled".

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
I was only public so I didn't see much, really. I saw staff members making fun of other public, and I heard the ED screaming at someone in the basement.

Also, I remember having trouble on course and nobody having time to help -- I sat in the courseroom day after day doing star-rates waiting for someone to word clear me or whatever. I remember being sent to ethics and the ethics officer never having time. Then, I was blamed for having trouble on course -- I must have huge whole-track overts against LRH. I believed them and I learned to hate myself for being "unable" and degraded.


5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
I think because I thought it explained the big questions of existence. . . and because I wanted it to be true so badly. I wanted to get rid of the pain of living and be happy, and to make the world a better place; I wanted to be important and to make a difference.

And . . . the people! Scientology attracted some of the best people I ever met. . .caring, visionary, fun, intelligent, dedicated, I loved hanging out with them. (Now what's even better is that the best of the Scientologists eventually see it and get out, and I get to hang out with them on ESMB!)


6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
Only public, thankfully. My husband is a strong Christian and wasn't even willing to look at Scientology. He let me make my own decisions, but wasn't willing to relocate close enough to an Org to make staff feasible. Otherwise I would have signed on to staff, and probably Sea Org in a heartbeat.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
I had been running into frustrating situations and poor treatment by staff (only after I ran out of money), and I'd seen some disturbing practices to "extort" money at events, but had been able to explain and justify those things. The first major blow was stumbling on THIS website, completely by accident and reading an interview by someone that I had known as a dedicated Scientologist. That completely shook my world. It took me 2 years to assimilate that.
After about 2 years, I was still afraid of losing my eternity and I was having a discussion with my non-Scio hubby -- I told him he needed to be open minded and look at both sides . . . he looked at me very calmly and said " . . so should you." That hit me hard, and I realized he was right. So I came back to "Through the Door" and read every post on here. . .and then proceeded to spend months doing nothing but reading people's stories, and documentation of Hubbard's lies. . . .it was a very rough time for me to realize I could have been so wrong, and wasted so much time and money.


8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
Certainly the human rights abuses . . .disconnection, child labor, fair game. Those things didn't affect me directly though. The thing that affected me was the elitest "we are superhuman and better than those lowly wogs out there" attitude . . and the constant threatening of your eternity if you didn't follow LRH blindly and to the letter. That was very damaging to me because it made me impervious to my friends and families opinions and attempts to communicate, and took away my self determinism.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
There was a time when I thought Scientology could be reformed. . .but having studied mind-control techniques, brainwashing and hypnotism, I realize that Scientology is insidious right from the beginning. Start with really looking at KSW series 1 . . that is totally designed to trap people. I would never set foot close to that place nor study anything else by LRH.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
If you are thinking of leaving the CofS, check out ESMB (link above). Overall you will be welcomed and helped -- naturally there are some people who are afraid of OSA and are suspicious of newbies. . .don't let that get to you. People on there have been through what you are going through. There are stories, critical analyses, laughs . . .I've made some great friends there. You don't have to reveal your identity. It was ESMB that took the "charge" off my Scientology experience and helped me heal. Good luck!

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