Saturday, 30th January, 2010 04:07:10pm
Name or Alias:
Training and/or processing level:
HQS, SS 1, Scientology Drug Rundown
Org or location:
Time involved in the Church of Scientology:
Recommended Website - Ask the Scientologist Blog
- 1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of
- Read DMSMH.
- 2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
- The practical nature of obtaining enlightenment.
- 3. Were there problems in your life that you thought
scientology would address?
- Improved 2D, and the removal of self directed counter-intention.
- 4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't
seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were
they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
- I noticed the pervasive use of circular logic. The first was: 'Ethics must be in before the Tech can go in'. Since one of the ethics conditions is Doubt, you had to remove any of your doubt about Scn for it to work. That seemed like brainwashing to me. Also, there was this strange justification or explanation for the massive failures and insanity in Scientology: 'If it doesn't work, it's not Scientology. Therefore, Scientology works.' I suppressed these two major outpoints because I wanted to experience the gains that I thought were available. Also, I was extremely naïve and suggestible, and it didn't take long for staff/reges to convince me to abandon my 1st and 2nd dynamic goals for 3rd dynamic goals. Needless to say, the whole thing ruined my personal finances. I am still angry with the church for using me and angry with myself for allowing myself to be used.
- 5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of
- I did experience gains in training and some in auditing. The auditing gains were very unstable and temporary. I felt that I had some gains on my 2D that allowed me to finally be at peace and happily married. This was the best gain of all, though over the years, I think that these issues may have worked themselves out independent of Scn. Who knows?
- 6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or
an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on
staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
- I started 'helping out' by doing some Book One auditing of new preclears. I experienced some big wins as a Book One auditor. After a while, though, it seemed to me that the main reason why my preclears were winning was that their auditing was the first time in their life that someone had actually paid attention to them with ARC. After a while, I joined staff and almost immediately realized it was a mistake.
- 7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a
- There were some major outpoints I noticed. The staff member that I respected the most married in haste, got his wife pregnant, and then proceeded to have a brazen out-2D and got himself declared. Also, I was given money and asked to go buy multiple copies of Mission Earth supposedly 'for Sea Org members who didn't have the time to go out to bookstores'. I boxed the books up and asked the ED for postage to send them to Bridge, but I was told not to do so. The books sat in a corner at the org for months and were never sent. I was also given money to buy multiple copies of Buckskin Brigades. Something clicked in my mind when I saw some guy ahead of me in the checkout line in the bookstore with multiple copies of DMSMH. I realized that I was engaging in a dishonest stat push to drive the books up the Bestseller Lists. I thought: 'if the bestseller status of these books is a lie, then what else is a lie?'. In the fullness of time, I realized how incredibly fortunate I was to leave Scn so soon. I have read too many horror stories of long time of Staff, SO members, and Scn public on the upper end of the bridge. I wondered ≈ if Scn was so great, then why aren't the OTVII's and OT8VIII's completely peaceful, self actualized and on-board with the Church's program?
Also, I couldn't help but notice that staff members lived on the fringes of society, in dingy apartments, without access to good healthcare, no driver's licenses, etc. This did not square with my concept of a Scientologist - doing well and prospering in life. I realized that I had been incredibly naive and had allowed the church to use me. I figured that someday they would use me up and spit me out - they wanted 'all' of me.
Eventually, I decided to move to California, saying that I'd look into getting on lines there. Nothing is more effective in getting an org off your back that becoming someone else's statistic. I routed out standardly, a process that took a month. I also paid my FL debt. I did these things because my brother had also come on lines, and I did not want to cause him trouble or have him disconnect from me. Nevertheless, twenty years later, he's ExSO, Ex Staff, and a public Scn now. He probed me as to my hostility to Scn and I was brutally honest with him. He disconnected from me two years ago. He was/is my best friend, and now he's gone.
- 8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some
of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those
practices affect your life?
- I think that Scientology is fatally flawed. Scn creates its own enemies, as evidenced by so many SP declares of staff members, so many purges, so many abuses. Scientology cannot be fixed.
- 9. If the items you listed in the previous question were
changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of
Scientology? If so, why?
- I couldn't go back - I know too much, and I do not believe that the church is capable of reform.
- 10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
- No - thank you very much for this forum.