Friday, 7th March, 2008 08:00:34am
Name or Alias:
Training and/or processing level:
Org or location:
Las Vegas, Phoenix,
Time involved in the Church of Scientology:
About a year
Recommended Website - http://
- 1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of
- I was very shaken up about my work history and feeling quite bummed out one day and was willing to give it a shot because I was rebellious and if everyone who was not supporting me was against Scientology, I'd be in favor of it. I drove to a mission in tears asking if they could increase my self confidence. I knew when I began that I had problems with suppressives but didn't use the right terminology.
- 2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
- Curiosity and rebellion against conservative fundementalism.
- 3. Were there problems in your life that you thought
scientology would address?
- I was being mistreated on my job and accused continually of things I had never done. It was a reoccurring theme in my life and I had a victim's personality at the time.
- 4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't
seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were
they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
- My first objective was to only focus on myself and not look around to see what other people's experiences were. I was only focusing on overcoming my own victim behavior.
- 5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of
- I didn't stay for very long but have to say that I've been successful at my profession for 10 years and haven't been fired for unjust cause since taking the basic classes of communication and dianetics.
- 6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or
an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on
staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
- Public only.
- 7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a
- Over the past few years, I've began noticing other people more and becomming more extroverted. As I got 'better' I began to notice that a lot of people who were actually above me in CoS training were actually less confident than I was and were blindly obedient and often afraid. People who had worked for years to quit a meaningless job were still working their meaningless jobs and instead of getting better, many were actually getting worse. I still don't understand that.
Then I decided that I should only cultivate friendships with clears or OT's because they seemed a little more stable. However, after exploring that, I realized that many OT's were quite paranoid and suspicious of everything. OT's were as easy to Bullbait as most preclears...just ask a question that questioned LRH or Scientology and paranoia was leaking out everywhere.
Then one day, I was on course and there was a thing in there that asked that I pledge loyalty to Scientology (or something like that) and I closed the book and walked out after explaining that I always reserved the right to make my own choices at any stage of any game.
I've been back a couple of times because I appreciate the part of Scientology that does work and constantly miss the people and the hope for a better future but had a big problem with pledging loyalty. However, the biggest thing I began noticing was that as a group, Scientologist at the top levels don't do as they say and don't think as they talk. I overheard many Scientologists ridiculing other PC's and their students. I saw them making fun of people and knocking their relatives who were not members. This gentle information made me back off...reluctantly. I also saw other 'beginners' being terribly mistreated and made to feel quite bad about themselves to the point of doing some pretty awful things. I had enough of that from my family and wouldn't take it myself and wouldn't have anything to do with any organization that did that to anyone else either. It seemed to me that cutting ties with an organization that did this to people was doing what LRH said...'CUTTING ENTHETA TIES'
I have an incredibly high tone scale today. I am happy, content peaceful and insightful. I don't need Scientology to tell me whether or not I'm clear or OT...I know I am to a large extent. I won't let anyone push me around and thanks to Scientology, I'm not longer involved with Scientology...isn't that a paradox!?
- 8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some
of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those
practices affect your life?
- Yes, but I don't know enough about the org to know specifically what it is. Fortunately, I never spent much money on their course work so I don't feel conned in this area. I think that the way they noticably treat their 'raw meat' is atrocious! I've noticed and am horrified! They won't do that to me! They tried to get me to go to Celebrety centers where they treat celebrities with dignaty and began to treat me with dignity as I have some musical and drama abilities but even if they began to give me the Tom Cruise treatment, I wouldn't stand for seeing other people made to feel small about themselves and made to work for nothing. I saw ordinary people turned into what I thought were obedient zombies and it made me cringe. That absolutely needs to stop. I will be an advocate for the 'little people' who aren't confident in who they are and will take this kind of treatment from anyone.
- 9. If the items you listed in the previous question were
changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of
Scientology? If so, why?
- Perhaps. I do love my confidence and I'm no longer depressed and haven't been since hanging out with Scientology. I sort of like a lot what they 'say' they are doing. I can't stand what they are actually doing. Its always discouraging to see that leaders are not doing as they talk and I'm bummed out. It really is a good thing gone terribly, terribly wrong! They are actually GIVING people engrams! Its not nice!!! I'm fortuante that they didn't do that to me...although I could see they were trying their best to get me to buy in.
- 10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
- I'd like to be taken off their mailing lists. I don't need anymore books, thank you. The only book I will read is the one people are actually living! If the book works, I want to see the leaders living it! As far as I can tell, they don't. I'm sick of all manipulative religious organizations...off to secular humanism! I have to say Thanks to Scientology for all you've done for me though. It really does work at the beginning levels.