Wednesday, 12th December, 2007 11:00:10pm
Name or Alias:
Training and/or processing level:
Not much, Ups and Downs, and a lot of research
Org or location:
Time involved in the Church of Scientology:
1.5 years, reluctantly
Recommended Website - http://
- 1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of
- I write tonight because I have read all 200 something interviews on this website. I'm going through a hard time, just got out of what would have been a long-term relationship with a man who initiated a conditional break-up with me over the fact that I would not become a Scientologist and thus spend my life going up the Bridge with him. Since then, he's been miserable, hoping and waiting for the moment that I might 'read books on my own, learn for myself'--the whole shabang--find out that what was true for L. Ron Hubbard is true for me, too. It's been a journey of a few months, licking my wounds, finding myself in an obviously vulnerable position where I had two choices--rather, he had given me two choices--1) to cut my losses with him and find someone else in life, or 2) to cut my losses with him and find someTHING else in life, something that could only be Scientology (according to him, I'm sure) that would fill the void one feels after a breakup and when one feels empty and depressed and dejected. In a sense, he set me up.
The point is not to denigrate him, for I love him. My point is to say that I'm a being with so much critical thinking coursing through my veins that not even XenuTV or xenu.com or Operation Clambake could really heal me in this process of trying to get over Scientology and someone who was, and unfortunately is, a Scientologist. Someone who I unfortunately feel will remain a Scientologist for a very long time. My point is to say that, in the last months, I have read every 200+ interview on this 'ethercat' website, thanks to a link I found on the 'ex-scientologist message board,' and have found no greater relief than here, reading stories of real people who relay honest-to-life accounts of their very personal experiences with Scientology, and of leaving it. It's very real, and for me, very healing. I have found myself shying away of some of the over-the-top anti-scientology websites that exist. I KNOW that these websites contain many facts that are revealing about Scientology, but having met and known someone intimately who was, let's say, in love with Scientology, perhaps makes me more sensitive, or have more of a critical eye, towards websites whose rhetoric of the 'anti-' is through the roof. To me, some of these obviously anti-Scientologist websites are circumspect; in diatribes about the upper-level management mishaps in Scientology, they miss the point—they miss the point in that they don’t really explain how a good person like you or me can find themselves utterly reliant on a supposedly spiritual system that is somehow, perceivably to me, tainted at its core. These websites often seem terribly similar in rhetoric and anger to the anti-psychiatry diatribe of Scientology—a ruthless rant that, to me, signals the religion’s ruin. (And it's not that psychiatry is a blessing upon mankind, or anything--I'm talking about Scientology's unbalanced response to it.)
Since this breakup, this 'end of love,' whatever you want to call it, I've found myself really searching for truth, more than I ever have before, I think. And a huge portion of that is because he=Scientology. He made that clear in the breakup. In my search for truth and my own review of criticism of Scientology, I've spent a lot of overdue hours, many nights awake, trying to pick apart the bullshit--the out-of-line, the blind rhetoric, and the mainstream media--and it is nearly ONLY this website, authored by real people, real (ex-Scientologists) that has really brought me towards healing.
I'm writing because, as much as I understand the case for anonymity in all of your writings, I would love to hear from you, only by e-mail (or more, if you're willing), and I understand if you're not: Once again, I AM NOT A SCIENTOLOGIST, only a woman who's been hurt indirectly by Scientology's influence over a loved one's life, and who would appreciate being in contact with you. Of course, I would love your input as to healthy ways to either 1) get over a former lover who’s involved in Scientology, or 2) get him out. The latter obviously being the more difficult. But I don’t expect answers to either of those issues. Only to express my appreciation and to let you know exactly what it was you said in your post that CLICKED like all of the things that clicked with me in my relationship that I couldn’t put into words at the time.
Duped (Door 226)
Horst Blaupunkt (Door 84)
StayFree (Door 24)
arnie lerma (Door 4)
Beyondananda (Door 106)
Think for yourself (Door 82)
Back in Kansas (Door 81)
Mushroom (Door 79)
Glad I am out (Door 76)
J Mc (Door 74)
Mastermind (Door 68)
E (Door 67)
Ex-SO (Door 66)
Esjay (Door 54)
I hope that despite my possibly obnoxious refusal to answer the following questions in this interview—I can’t, because I was never deeply involved in Scn—that I will hear a response from at least one of you wonderfully brave people. Thank you, Ethercat. Really: Thank you.
- 2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
- 3. Were there problems in your life that you thought
scientology would address?
- 4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't
seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were
they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
- 5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of
- 6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or
an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on
staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
- 7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a
- 8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some
of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those
practices affect your life?
- 9. If the items you listed in the previous question were
changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of
Scientology? If so, why?
- 10. Any additional comments you would like to make?