Scientology - Through the Door


Monday, 19th November, 2007 09:04:22am

Name or Alias: petraph33
Training and/or processing level: student hat/nearly OEC, EDSEC, SO Product 2 and Clear
Org or location: Hamburg, CLO Europe, now living in Ireland
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 17 years
Recommended Website - ESMB
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
My brother brought the Dianetics book home and briefed my parents on it, and I became very interested as he was talking about Theta - Mind - Body and I thought that is very interesting and I want to know more about that.

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
That the basic concepts really seemed to work and as I was only 14 years of age, they put some real stable datums into my life. I had a great home and lovely parents and all, but I had no idea what to do with my life, after school, and I was looking for something more interesting than the normal 9-5. And after my brother had talked about this theta-mind-body thing I really became very interested and I started to work in the org and earned my com-course there by helping with the BMO and flyer distribution.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
not really problems to be addressed, but my life seemed to lack a real purpose, and I thought 'Saving the world' is just what I was looking for, and all the different areas that Scientology was involved in was just 'wow' great and I felt I was able to really expand as a person and help make the world a better place. I was convinced of doing that from 14 years of age, helping in the org to earn my com-course, until the very last couple of months that I spend on the leaving routing form.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
I surely can say now that I feel total disgust about the disconnection policy. Just because I have voiced my opinion on-line and because I tried to make others go and look and decide for themselves, I have been declared a supressive person by the 'CofS' and my brother and all those 'friends' I had during more than 16 years of being in Scientology dropped contact with me like dropping a hot potatoe, and that was very eye opening to me, even after I had already left. As to what made me leave: Dishonesty and betrayal. One of my closest friends, a friend that you shared tough moments with, allnighters, heavy ethics, generally tough times, just lied to me in front of others and denied his support to me when I most needed it. It was not that I was in need of his support and could not do without it, I expected him to stand by me and to keep his integrity but he did not. At that moment I snapped and decided to leave the SO. I have never felt a bigger relief in my life, I will not forget the moment I took that decision and another good friend of mine was close by and she said 'you decided to leave the SO' and I answered: 'yes'. It must have been very obvious. I was immediately put under watch and on mest work. What followed then is going to be told some other time. I can attest to poor living conditions, bed bugs in the berthing places and crowded dorms, very unhygienic shower and laundry facilities, and a general lack of care for those areas because 'that was all first dynamic oriented'. As to unfair treatment, I had my share of it and under the belief of doing the 'greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics' I gave my share of it to others, too. There is one statement though that I want to make under this heading: in 1995 the 'New Era of Manangement' was launched and command teams went into all Continents, including local RTC Representatives. This is the time when it started to become really bad. Looking at it now in retrospective, all I can say is that DM's arms and his-word-is-law just extended into every Continental office and RTC was all over the lines and made sure that NO-ONE was working on anything else but the Golden Age of Tech and it's affeliated programs. Individual org handlings went throguh the window and weekly reports from the CLO execs directly to the RTC Rep started. Heavy ethics became the order of the day and it became a 'very serious activity'. Again, probably more details on this later.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
As mentioned earlier, any wrongness inside, that could have promted me to take a deeper look, was just 'out KSW' or 'personal out ethics' or was so well promoted to get things more 'On Source' that one just had to go with it or face the consequences. Up until the time I decided to leave the SO, as mentioned above, I honestly thought I was an active part of making the world a better place, I had attested Clear and was well Admin trained and for every problem there seemed to be an LRH solution. I only snapped out of it when I was personally betrayed and I saw that my friend was outright lying. My personal integrity started to come out at that point, and I mean MY personal integrity, not the integrity you abide by within Scientology and especially the SO.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
I was a helper from the age of 14, then staff until 17 when I joined the SO. I was 15 years in the SO.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
As mentioned above.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
The 'Church of Scientology' is not a Church, it is a well planned and thought through scam that really reaches for the inner hearts of people and their need to 'do something about it' and 'became more able'. It is very well worked out to take you by the little finger at the start, and then rapidly take your hand, arm and whole body (and soul). Once you are knee deep in it, it takes a real wake up call to get you out of that state. So, no, I do not think they should change something, the C of S as it exists today should be forbidden by law. It is a totalitarian organization and should be closed down. It has nothing to do with Spiritual freedom. It is a well thought through money making machine. It is for personal gain(LRH's or now DM's) only. Sad but true. It took me a good while to really understand that. It has some workable basic technology, but I am sure that bit or workable tech will find it's own way into the life of people, it does not need a totalitarian enforcement.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
Never. I would never go back, but I am applying some basic principles to my life.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
The internet is a phantastic way to look for oneself and to find out real thruths. I started looking only after I was out, and had I looked earlier, I am sure I would not have wasted half my life in the SO. I am so glad to be out and and to have a real happy new life. I hope that whoever reads this account, or any other information about Scientology really looks for him/herself and finds out what is really going on. Better now that later. I am sure that this organization called 'Church of Scientology' will not survive another decade the way things are going now. Here's to a new life with real happiness!

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