Scientology - Through the Door


Monday, 11th September, 2006 04:01:11pm

Name or Alias: BlownAndKeyedOut!
Training and/or processing level: rather not say
Org or location: rather not say
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: a few years
Recommended Website - http://
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
Started dating a guy who was a 15 year Scientologist. One day he takes me to eat at a nice place, couple hours later I'm sitting in the reg's office, signing up of a personal efficiency course. Uniformed staff members flying about, I was caught up in quite a vortex, but it was a very lovely place!

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
I started off with mixed emotions. I think the plusses were how happy everyone seemed. I did, however, login to some anti-Scn websites at some point and retreated some from it a bit. What startled me was how my, by that point, boyfriend reacted to what I had learned. 'Lies!...all who oppose Scientology are CRIMINALS...They're all suppressives!' Nonetheless, I passed on it. Unfortunately, there was an incident that would occur a couple years later that's best suited as the answer to the next question...

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
The incident I speak of began as postpartum stress after giving birth. I was feeling like my baby and myself were targeted by who knows, acting out resentment toward my boyfriend's son from his last marriage, believing he was 'deliberately trying to destroy my family', I recall myself saying once. Looking back, I was easily categorized as what the Church would call 'Type III'. I vouch for the fact that I had lost it, totally. The months rolled by and eventually my normal self was restored, but I carried heavy guilt for the awful way I had treated the 6 year old. I called him names, cursed him, said terrible things about his monther. Anyway, the boy for whatever reason, at the age of 8, decides to tell his family about it. So I had to face the music. So crushed was I about having this dark secret revealed, as well as mired in self-loathing about what I had done, I took my boyfriend's advice to seek council with the Church. So contrite was I and fearful of losing my family, I started the Purification Rundown, the first real step onto the Bridge. Not only did I start, I made the conscious decision to allow myself to be absorbed into the fold, misgivings or not.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
My first stint, before the postpartum incident is where I did the Volunteer Minister's Course, you know, the bright yellow jackets and T shirst that respond to every crisis? I was given a target for completion (you're always given this, very standard tech) but there was a recruitment event on my target day and everyone was ordered to attend. I stayed about 3 hours through the hardest sell I had ever seen. It didn't take long for me to realize that the objective of this event was to keep going as long as it took for a certain number of people to break down and join staff. I had NO intention of joining staff. However, one by one, Sea Org members would sit next to me and apply tremendous pressure on me to join. They simply weren't taking No for an answer. 'Scientology works, right?' they kept asking. I finally said, 'Look, I've been involved for 2 months, the jury's still deliberating that!' The worse part was I tried to leave and a female Sea Org member shouted at me from the door, to 'go back and take your seat!' I got on my cell phone and dileberately pretended I was talking to someone. I said, 'I think I'm being held against my will at the Scientology building!' That caused them to move out of my way real quick.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
The tech is great. You truly apply the principals to your life, it works. Auditing works too, although to the extent of 'CLEAR' and 'Operating Thetan', I needed more proof. But naturally spending hours discussing old pains and upsets are mentally healthier than keeping it bottled up.

Just as I recoil from the indoctrination by way of absolute and unyeilding rules made by scientology, I recoil from the absolute statements made by non-Scientologists who have no experience with it. The people were very nice, the Orgs are beautiful, very clean and well decorated, you feel safe and well-taken-care-of there. The staff members are the coolest people on earth and, minus all the Sci-Fi crapola, the rest of what LRH teaches is very workable.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
No way. I knew the staff was overworked and underpaid from day one. I always felt the idea the a 'freeloader's debt' was such an out-point as hard as those people work, 'on post' all friggen day. Not to mention the stories I heard from the Freewinds, no thanks, pal.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
I'm going to skip all the other stuff because so much of it pretty much dittoes what has already been said. However, the last straw for me was when my boyfriend (who incidently was declared and SP back in the late 80s, paid a freeloader's debt of $30,000, which he had to lie to get from his parents, (who don't like Scn---but it was for the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics, right?) and 'made up the damage' by 'striking an effective blow to the enemy' (which he refuses to discuss) and was able to rejoin. Anyway, he was in danger of being declared again based on some data that had come up in an O/W write up. He had just cashed out his 401K to 'buy the academy' for almost $20,000 as well as purchased all the Congresses on CD for $2,200. Did I mention we are far from rich people? We live from paycheck to paycheck with sky-high credit card debt. After the O/W write up (where you devulge all your trangressions, hidden or otherwise) All these services totally over $7,000. keep in mind we were flying overseas to visit his parents and were already strapped. He maxes out all his credit cards, only for the people at OSA, who had sent down the preivious orders to say, 'Eh, you're not eligible for services.' Now he can't get the services he paid all that money for nor can he get a refund for fear of being declared and SP, (SP Declare is an automatice response to a refund request, regardless of the circumstances.) I believe he anxiously paid all the money in the first place in fear of being declared.

We ended up going to visit his parents BROKE and to explain our situation, he blamed ME for not having a job! (I'd been a stay at home Mom since having our second baby a year prior.) So now our relationship is TOTALLY on the rocks because he's conflicted by knowing he was screwed by the Church but not wanted to fully confront that fact, yet all his hostility had been misdirected at me.

That was the final straw. I was never fully indoctrinated so I always resented the inability to apply critical thinking, as well as felt inhibited from reading philosphers other than LRH, discussing other philosophies, which I've always enjoyed, etc.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
Stop sending so much damn literature. You get nine-thousand of the same flyer, 6 different ones a day all because someone's 'stat' is 'Number of Promo Out'.

Management by statitistics is SUPRESSIVE. It causes so much insanity within an org because it was based initially on LRH's irrational demands. People begging you to watch a Sea Org video again again by 2:00pm Tuesday for their stats, Reg's asking you to borrow money to pay for a course...gah! C'mon. Talk about an ARC break.

They also need to subject their claims to impartial outside scientific investigation. If it's 'the only tech that can clear the planet of crime, war and insanity' and you have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on it, it BETTER stand up to the scientific method. Refusing to do so based on the grounds of ''they' wouldn't get it' is not good enough. The only way you can justify the amount of money asked is to prove its workability. Plus, how could they miss out on such a slam-dunk dissemination opportunity? Sure there will be skeptics, but sheesh, a bunch of people will be convinced. Why act like there's so much to hide???

Allow Scientologists to apply critical thinking. If 'the tech works' as you chant incessantly, there shouldn't be a problem in this area.

And why all the covert operations? I read the disclaimers before posting this and all I could think was if an organizations intentions are purely honorable and simply aiming to clear the planet of crime, war and insanity, then why the 007 routine? Where does THAT fit in? Why seek out to DISTROY people when simply allowing your good works to shine through would defeat enemies easily enough. Going after people really makes the Church look evil. I wouldn't even BE writing this, had it not been for that very fact.

Get rid of that anti-Christian and Anti-gay point of view, hiding just beneath the surface of the shiny social veneer.

Stop Lying. (Compatibale with other religions? Yeah right. They told me I couldn't meditate. Meditation is how I pray. I can't pray??)

Stop running people to the poor house. IT'S A REAL ARC BREAK!

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
maybe. Like I said, the principals are workable. It's just that a lot of the OT stuff is hard to swallow and, if what's said on these website are true, diametrically opposed to my existing spiritial beliefs.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
I have no intention of sharing with my boyfriend my true feelings. All he has to know is that I am no longer interested. If he wants to believe I 'blew' because of my own overts and withholds, sobeit. I'll let him follow his own life's path and pray for him and eveyone else. I actually pray that Scientology is rid of its evil, redrawn up to exclude all the paranoid, KGB tacticts and present itself purely to the world. Maybe they WILL clear the planet.

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