Scientology - Through the Door


Sunday, 25th June, 2006 08:02:49pm

Name or Alias: Trevour
Training and/or processing level: KTL/LOC, Exec statuses etc
Org or location: CMO INT, CLO Can, Fin Off etc
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 20 years
Recommended Website - The Sceptic magazine
1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
Body routed by a seriously attractive busty girl, while I was mildly stoned. I liked the feel of the - Mission -

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
Because I had been on a rather long binge of bourbon and hash, in attempt to mask some psychological trauma,I actually become rather introverted, I felt and saw an opportunity to get out of the downward spin that I seemed to be locked into. It was a very rough time of my life. On taking the OCA, while I really did not grasp it at all, it looked logical and appeared that a valid therapy was on offer. So I went for it.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
Very much as above, I was breaking up with my partner and taking a lot of drugs and alcahol, Scientology seemed like a born again option, a chance to leave all this behind. It also gave me a group of people that really badly needed people, so one would tend to get more validation than one possibly warrented. This served to build up my selfesteem for sure. I needed a group, and due to a severe childhood trauma needed a father figure. I only wish that proper psycotherapy was available to me.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
This is a very big question for me. I have just quit after 20 years in the SO, and at this moment in time as I view my past, against latent knowledge, it is all very wrong indeed. Not in any sinister experiencial way. Imagine having your view of a piece of artwork zoomed in to about 6 pixels on a sceen, yes some pixles may look funny, but until you can zoom all the way out you don't know what you are looking at. Last IAS event, I listened to all the pr blurbs again and I was expecting a major win for the church, a major release or something. But we got more news about more public having bought CSI expensive properties in prime locations, and a further admonation from COB to get back down in the trenches because we have to wipe out psychatry THIS YEAR! Tom Cruise ranting and swearing and saluting, I was not impressed. I got bad flue the next day, and realised that I was being taken for a ride. And so on and on adnausium. Compared to the real world, in the Sea Org you are treated very poorly. The pay sums are idiotic, the hours are insane and the expectancy from the cult is nothing short of ridiculous. Yet we do it without question. Living conditions are actually atrocious, but compared with the 1980's pure luxury! (forgive me for being non specific, but I don't trust the medium right now)I was in a unique position, I had carved out a niche for myself and was well trusted, and I did not go along with or put up with any bull. Having gone through a horrendous situation five years earlier dealing with a legal case, I was deeply angry with church management, and this was known, it was also known that since that time I had a no holds barred reaction to church pr bull. And would blow up when confronted with abject executive stupidity. This backed off senior stupid orders from exec type people from me but I was very trusted because I looked after people in senior positions and always delivered on my promises, had a strong self determinism and got good things done. In other words I was atypical. I did my job with flare and took my own time out. But I watched the overall scene. and it was not good, it was very stressy, staff were sick a hell of a lot and four people died of cancer within a short period, I thought this was strange, as we were not a big cross section of society and the numbers seemed too high. I was promoted to Finance and placed on secondment to an outer org. Here I did just fine too! Why? I realised it is Because I don't buy the church pr. I just don't believe a word of it. Thus I did not wait for or listen to senior orders, and boy got stuff done! Good stuff for my org. I stopped believing when I was working on that legal situation and dealing with the IAS, and I saw through it. I actually saw that it was a major con. I know, because I had to raise almost a million bucks on top of normal income in a few short months, and saw and experienced the constant, crushing and suppressive pressure from management to make this go right on a small but dedicated team in a mission. Good bright able intellegent people. From my perspective Management did not give a toss who was crushed and destroyed - staff I mean, not the enemy - to make this target. I really started asking questions, and then began shouting back. That was five years ago or so, I walked out the door last week, and that was it. Long time. Over the past four years I saw bad things, but not illegal, not harrasment, just stupid roboticness. I tended to jump in and handle stuff that really got on my goat, like the treatment of kids, neglect really. No one including the parents had time for them, the couple who did make the time had to do so through superhuman effort. I started teaching because of that. gave the kids some space and opened up opportunities for them to see more of life than mopping floors. - This is a horrible truth, a sunny Sunday morning, 7, 8 and nine year old children being made to mop floors and do lower conditions. It just ain't on man, just ain't on. Thats still going on today, and I think we are allowing something bad to happen here. It was kr'd, but so what, no one did anything, was 'not a priority' till I took it on, parents and execs over the area too busy clearing the planet to worry about the future. With a rapidly shrinking staff and public.

The last org I was in had a total active field of about 40 people. A new OT 4 (in the red for 45000 usd - was a caved in mess. A new OT III was about as effective as a road sweeper, a OT V a quavering wreck. Makes you think does it not?

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
I had lost twenty years of life, I was actually filled with the negative false data from Hubbard and church black pr on the society around us. I did not like the picture that was painted and on a subconcious level believed that life would be a monotonous minus randomity drag outside. While I had aquired a lot of real skills in the SO, I had 0 qualification, 0 grades or degrees, nothing useful to the real world. This backed me off, it really did. But I since discovered that SO people are kept very ignorant indeed. Just try and do a real doubt formual, I mean really, per the book, as a Sea Org or Scn staffer, you would have to search xenu, factnet, read the Barefaced Messiah, but you can't do that in Scn can you? So your doubt condition is pretty much a foregone conclusion is it not? Due to my position here I have now really done this formula, and with intellegent evaluation of the well written and thoughtful postings on various sites, this result is also a foregone conclusion; the hell with this decitfulness!

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?
Sea Org. Up at CMO Int and BPI Int, Pubs Can, Base Crew and more recently at Cont Fin level.

7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?
As described above, you can extrapolate the process from the prior paragraphs. I put myself in a unique and possibly privelaged position because I know the game. Being on secondment gave me a great degee of autonomy, and while I have used it to empower my org, I also began working with community and educational leaders. If you saw the NY Saint Hill size announcement last years Maiden Voyage you will have a clue as to where I was and what I was doing! Anyway, this interworking with these people opened my eyes, they are smart, hardworking, well paid, good hearted people, I did not meet the evil people Ron seemed to think populated all levels of government. Once you begin to see the chink in the internal pr armor, the whole lot collapses with some considerable rapidity. And because I have access to internet and because I am very well read, particulary works by Beevour, Naom Chomsky, Pilger and so on, all writers who have a good insight into oppression and weapons of state used on populaces, I was able to draw paralells, come to conclusions and generally false data strip myself of both Hubbard's and the Church's pr and lies. I have been setting myself up to jump for some time and have ensured that I have a positive, socially responsible and personally fulfilling future ahead of me outside the cult. I hate being lied to, and told Hubbard (in a mocked up conversation you understand) at one point, that if I found out he was a con, I would *****ng kill him, or work to destroy his apparent repute. I am onto that task now, am I not?

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
The church is a false construct from the word go. It cannot 'reform' because its very essence is a lie and a construct of some magnatude. I hate to say it, but it factually should not be allowed to exist. Consider that it is a known truth in psychology that patients often at middel age 'snap out of it' and become normal. Consider that a person as he matures and his endocrines, hormones and so on balance out - for perfectly legitimate genetic survival reasons - he becomes more cerebal, less abreaction, less emotionally motivated, more rational. Look at the middleaged professors in College, they are not like that just from reading wise texts. They were wild young tearaways when they started college and are now mature, balanced and intellectually proficient. I have experienced this and seen it in others, yet I had little auditing. So one often misassigns gain to Hubbard when it is actually a natural process. Abberations in the process should NOT be dealt with by an unreasearched quick buck cracker-barrel psychology construct like Scientology is, it should be dealt with by well researched and documented psycology.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
Of couse not, the OT III through VIII material is laughable garbage. Blatently Science fiction, and a rush job at that, as Hubbard 'had to have something else to sell his devotees. My god, read 'My Life in Orange' by an ex bhagwan Raneshi boy, and you will see what I mean. No way, this is really a con job of some magnatude.

10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
Look, if you are going through doubt on the subject, then for gods sake do your research. Don't just read the Xenu and clambake hysteria, read philosphy, read Beevor, Anthony that is, read Solzhenitsyn, (the first circle makes particulary insightful reading to the discerning researcher on the human condition, and what he will accept, IQ being no factor whatsoever, many Scientologists are hugly bright and intellegent, most gulag detainees were the upper crust of Russia's intellectual elite). Chomsky, Pilger and Danziger and anything else you can get in that vein. Mostly you, like I did, just buy Hubbards sweeping generalities, don't. He was taking out of his hat. Read Locke, even in 1690, there were some brilliant analytical philosophers. he taught me to strip away varbage and get to the core of the matter. Educate yourself. Read about other cults and cons like Bhagwan. Yes they had a bunch of new age psychology to apply, tantric sex and reflexologists, and a lot of very nieve, lost and drifting souls, who grabbed onto a guru who promised them somthing unattainable. Scientology is exactly that. But it reveals a huge gaping hole in modern man's psychological profile that such things flourish. I am not a Christian or any such thing, but possibly young men and women need religion, maybe it is part of the process of growth and maturing. People my age seem to shed the need and become self sufficient. This is a question I am looking into, and maybe I will try to empower the traditional churches as a safe bet for young people, Mosques, Gudwaras, temples and Christianty may have a place in the future, after all it is the fact that traditional religion dropped the ball that then allowed these cults to flourish.

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