Scientology - Disconnection Hurts


Tuesday, 26th February, 2008 07:50:35pm

Name or Alias: Kevin Brady
How long ago was your disconnection? 12 years
Are you a current member, an ex-member, or never a member?
Did you disconnect, or did someone disconnect from you?
The other person disconnected.
1. What is (or was) your relationship to the disconnected person?
Spouse and two children

2. What were the circumstances surrounding the disconnection?
I refused to continue to do A to E steps (they kept 'losing' my records and asking me to redo the training [at my own expense]).

I insisted on seeing my wife and children, and she disconnected and served me with divorce papers.

3. Were you given a choice about disconnecting? Was there anything you could have done to avoid the disconnection? If so, please describe the choice involved or what you could have done. Do you now feel that you made the best decision?
Perhaps I could continuously have done A to E steps. Perhaps I could continuously have looked the other way about 'outpoints' I perceived that never got 'handled'. I chose not to.

4. Was a formal disconnection letter sent? If so, what did it say? If not, how was the disconnection communicated?
It was, but I used it for toilet paper, and thus, don't have it any more.

5. In what way has the disconnection affected your life?
It has caused a continuous feeling that I have been severed from the most important people in my life (my children). It's always what's on my mind. Basically, it's a continuous 'present time problem' of 'long duration'.

6. What were your feelings at the time about the disconnection?
I accepted it, because I didn't want to interrupt my then-wife's self-determined decisions. I also was in no position, after leaving the cult with no skills, to care for two children. It was a devil's choice.

7. What are your current feelings about the disconnection?
Now I feel very much it was the biggest mistake of my life, allowing them to be disconnected from me. However, I still feel it was my ex-wife's right to do what she wanted with her life. She didn't have to remain connected from me. I think that the organization/policy concerning disconnecting from 'known suppressives' is a genuinely evil policy, which does restrict her and other's self-determinism, if they buy into it.

8. Has there been an attempt at reconnection? Were there any conditions for reconnecting? If there was an attempt, did you succeed at reconnecting?
There has been no attempt. I didn't disconnect from them. I have made an attempt to connect with my children, with varying degrees of success, but ultimately failed to make a permanent connection between us again. If my ex-wife wanted to talk, I would talk to her. Again, I didn't disconnect.

9. If you are currently disconnected, would you like to reconnect? Do you believe it is possible, in your particular case? If not, why?
I would like to be in touch with my ex-wife about issues regarding my children's progress. Aside from that, I feel she betrayed me when I needed her most, and then stuck to that decision for over twelve years. I may forgive that, but if she's capable of that once, she may be capable of it again, so I would keep her at arm's length. With regard to my children, I think reconnection is inevitable as the cult dissolves, and they grow to the age of consent, where they make decisions for themselves without interference.

Would you like to make any additional comments?

Disconnection Story Number: 2
Total Disconnection Stories: 26
Page: [1] 2 [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26]

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